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Is it better to wait until the kids are older before divorcing?

On Behalf of | May 25, 2022 | Divorce |

If the only reason you are still married is because of the kids you share, then you might want to reconsider.

Popular wisdom holds that staying married until the kids are older will spare them a heap of trauma that divorcing sooner could cause. Yet research suggests this is inaccurate, and within a few years, you would struggle to differentiate children of divorced parents from still married parents in terms of behavior, academic success and other measures.

Divorce will affect your kids in the short term

It is impossible for such a big event in such a small person’s life not to have an impact. Going from seeing you both each day to not doing so will be a  big change. Yet, as with the first day they left you to go to school, or the first day they entered the big wide world of a new high school, they will adapt.

However, any or all of these reactions are totally normal in your child when you divorce:

  • Anxiety
  • Anger
  • Shock
  • Disbelief

Don’t expect your child to come up and articulate their feelings about your divorce in a clear way. Instead, you need to look out for them expressing these emotions through their actions. They might play up at school, withdraw from friends, or throw tantrums in the house. 

Helping them through this initial period and getting outside help if needed should ensure that it soon passes. If you can continue co-operating as parents, that too will help a lot. Finding out how to handle your divorce with the minimum of conflict will make that easier.