Working closely with your ex may not be easy. Yet that is what you will need to do if you share children. Unlike childless couples, there is no going your separate ways and never having to see each other again.
Accepting this will make it much simpler for you and your kids. However much it rankles to have to speak to your ex or see them with a new partner, you need to put it aside for the sake of your kids.
Here are some things you can do to make it easier:
Build up communication gradually
If you are not ready to stand side by side at your child’s birthday party, don’t. While your child might want you both to be there, few kids would turn down the opportunity to have two birthday parties, one with each of you.
It takes a while to put the past behind you, so feel free to use technology such as shared calendars or parenting apps to coordinate without having to see each other more than you can handle.
As time heals, you may find it easier to meet up for a coffee to chat about your kids or sit next to each other at their school concert, but until then, do what you need to.
If your co-parent asks if you can keep the kids a few hours longer, say yes if you can. There will likely come a time when you need to ask a favor of them. If you make it seem like a big deal, your children may start to feel they are an inconvenience to you both.
The first step to building a good co-parenting relationship is to handle your divorce with as little conflict as possible. Getting help to understand how to do this will benefit you and your kids.