Parents who are fighting for their fair share of child custody as they go through a divorce often think that it will be a very tumultuous situation, but it really doesn’t have to be that way. Instead of fighting with your ex over every point in the custody case, you can work toward peaceful negotiations that can help to set the co-parenting foundation you need to work together until your children are raised.
Because tensions are usually high during a child custody case, it’s imperative that you do what you can to diffuse the situation. These tips may help to accomplish that.
Put the children first
The needs of the children have to remain the sole focus in the child custody negotiations. It really doesn’t matter how the circumstances affect the parents as long as the terms of the agreement are in the child’s best interests. In most cases, children fare better when they have the support and love of both of their parents. If both parents keep that in mind, they may find it easier to make good decisions.
The past doesn’t matter
Some parents think that they need to bring up the past (especially the issues that led to their divorce) when they’re going through the custody negotiations. Doing this can make things stall out quickly. The past doesn’t matter unless there were elements of abuse or other factors that make one parent a danger to the children. Keep the focus on what matters for the future.
If you can’t work out your custody agreement and parenting plan without the court’s involvement, you may end up with a schedule that doesn’t really work for anybody in your family. If you can both remain flexible and stay open to compromise, you can set the tone for your future without letting the court make all the rules.
As you and your ex come to agreements on matters, get them in writing. Your parenting plan is what you turn to if there are questions as you raise the children. The more detailed the plan, the easier you’ll probably have it.